It's lonelier than you can imagine."Well, it was a bad time. I'd already lost my son, Calvin, and we were raising his two sons after that b- miserable excuse for a wife of his - got into drugs and then just vanished. And then all of a sudden, it was just me, and two teen boys. And I was already pretty stove up. And fat."She stared into the morning sky. Pale white clouds were drifting, driven by an autumn breeze."Suicide is a sin. Us Baptists and Catholics don't agree on much, but on that we do. You cut yourself off from God's Grace and you condemn yourself and the people you love. But I have to admit, I was pondering it."And then Jessie started coming by. Just to talk. She brought out coffee for us to drink together while we talked, and cakes and pies, not that I needed them that much. But I'd stopped pretty much doing anything and the boys loved it, and they loved her. You probably already noticed that she is a very pretty woman. And they were teenage boys. But she handled them just. Because I no longer could imagine my life without her.Finally, her eyes fluttered open, and she looked at me, and said,"Ss...sorry. Had a bad dream, and I came in here, and you scooted over andtold me to lay beside you." That's okay, sweetie. I... I'm glad you trusted me enough to come to me."She smiled and my heart melted."Come on," I said, "I'll make you some pancakes, okay?" Okay!" she said, and sprung from the bed. I followed, grabbing ahousecoat as I went to the kitchen.I made goofy shaped pancakes just to make her giggle, and once again Iwondered how anybody could look at this young girl and see a boy there.She seemed even more feminine than yesterday, like the safer she felt withme the more the girl in her came out..Once breakfast was over and I had cleaned up, I said, "Look. I should goget you some clothes so you don't have to keep wearing that dress. Youthink you'd be okay here if I go out?"She turned white, but she nodded."I won't be long, I promise. And nobody but the.
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